Saturday’s Overdose on Vitamin D

April 28, 2013April 28, 2013 / Ashley / 2 Comments

Two beautiful things happened yesterday.

The temperature rose above 50.

And I had the day off.

After a busy and stressful week at work, I had actually planned on going into the office on Saturday morning to get a head start on a few things, but then I saw the weekend forecast and the concept repulsed me.

Found this sweater last fall and decided it’s the most perfect piece of clothing I’ll ever find.

I ended up spending most of the day outside. I started the morning with a 3mi run along the river and through a hilly neighborhood. After showering, I cleaned my room, put on a slouchy spring outfit, and walked downtown to grab some lunch. I had the idea of getting some kind of spicy thai noodles, but the restaurant was closed. I ended up getting a gyro, parking myself on a park bench, and inhaling the thing in the most unlady-like fashion.

I don’t know if it was the sunshine, the lush sounds of Lana Del Rey in my earbuds, or the flavor clash of spicy gyro meat and cucumber sauce, but I was filled with a sense of total contentedness. My sense of hope was renewed. Life seemed beautiful again. The shreiking trio of middle schoolers in the pavilion didn’t annoy me. I wasn’t filled with jealous rage directed at the couple having an engagement shoot near the fountain. And I wasn’t even bothered when a wedding party showed up, the bride glowing with a slap-happy groom traipsing alongside.

I’ve never seen it advertised, but I think the serving size for gyros is ONLY ONE A MONTH, FATTY.

I woke up this morning with stiff legs and messy hair, pleased to see that I have another day of beautiful weather ahead of me. I baked some scones (banana, peanut butter, and blueberry/chocolate chip) and I’m planning on returning to the park with a thermos of tea and Flannery O’Connor’s short stories.

April Snow Brings Carb Binges

April 14, 2013April 14, 2013 / Ashley / 10 Comments

I’ve been going through a mild depression. I’ve really only noticed it over the last week or so, while the weather has been exceedingly shitty, even for Wisconsin. You think that we’d have this figured out by now: spring doesn’t really happen till the first week in May. Yet as soon as April comes around, we all expect lush grass to replace the dingy snow. And then when it doesn’t, we complain. Each time snow is forecasted, our rants get louder and more dramatic. “It’s snowing again? It’s halfway through April for crying out loud!” “It’s a beautiful winter we’re having this spring, isn’t it?”

Even though I know my spring will only last about two weeks before turning into a sticky summer, it’s still frustrating that I’m stuck inside watching the grass get coated in a wet snow again. It seems hopeless.

You are drunk, Spring. GO HOME.

I’ve been working a lot lately. Between trying to get caught up at work and saving money for my new place in June, work has just about consumed my life. For the most part, I enjoy my job and my coworkers. But between working 10-hour days and working out nearly everyday, by the time I get home, I’m too exhausted to do much of anything. So I usually just shower and fall asleep reading, annoyed with anyone who has the balls to reach out to me and say hi. It’s not very conducive to forming friendships or relationships. My friendships have dwindled to the small handful who are tolerant of my absentminded selfishness. My love life has all but vanished. I spent Friday night on the couch with blankets and Hulu. Saturday was spent at the office, then stubbornly watching four hours of The Killing when I really should have just taken a nap. I reached out to a few friends from college, trying to fool myself into thinking I’d actually go out. I knew that I would just end up in bed by 9, asleep by 9:30. I was right.

I’m not sure why my depressed and antisocial behavior feeds itself. It’s turned into a beast I don’t really know how to tame. I’ve always required a certain amount of alone time, but I feel like that’s all my life has become. The transition of college to work is harder than I anticipated. In college, there are new people to talk with every hour and your schedule varies each day of the week. But working is the same all day everyday, and even if I do like my coworkers, I need to talk with other people.

I think really, I’m just feeling sorry for myself while the weather continues to suck. The forecast should just read SHITTY TILL IT’S NO LONGER SHITTY. But instead, they go through the trouble of describing the shittiness.

Completely unnecessary, Accuweather.

I don’t really care that it’s supposed to be in the 50s. It’s still shitty and I’m going to blame my terrible mood and uncontrollable urge to shovel carbs into my mouth on it. Today I made two loaves of french bread, rice crispie treats, cake batter cookies, and I’m probably having spaghetti for dinner. An all-carb diet is good for the soul, right? I think what I need is a crazy night out with friends. I need to feel wild and free and like I’m stunning, beautiful, and constantly witty. The right amount of alcohol does that, and with any luck, I’ll find that next weekend. Until then, I’ll probably just keep reading and wasting time on Pinterest.

Selfishness & Priorities

March 26, 2013March 26, 2013 / Ashley / 5 Comments

In interviews and on some versions on my resume, I mention that one of my valuable skills is being able to prioritize tasks. In an objective sense, this is true. Give me a bunch of things that need to get done, and I have no problem deciding how and when to do the tasks. Four new hire files to audit? Personal development plan that needs revision? Three inch stack of motor vehicle reports to audit? Quality check corrections? Code cleanup for a client? Compiling and organizing information for the OneNote notebook on electronic on-board recorders? Revise and distribute meeting notes from the morning’s conference call? It will all get done. (For the record: quality check corrections, meeting notes, two new hires, half the motor vehicle reports, code cleanup, two new hires, last half of motor vehicle reports, OneNote project and personal development plan if time allows.)

Look at this portion of my cubicle and be impressed.

Short-term planning is not an issue for me. Long-term planning is difficult. My typical planning skills don’t translate to my life-planning. I realized this today, when I got home after 7, nearly too tired to shower or eat.

I will be getting my own apartment in June, and I was made aware of the fact that I have virtually no savings. So, I decided to pick up some extra hours at work to store some money away for when I’ll be living without a roommate. I’ll need to get a few pieces of furniture, a set of pans, possibly a television, and probably a dozen odds and ends I won’t think of until my toilet’s clogged and I’m wondering how I could be so stupid to live without a plunger. Also, I’d like to get a car that was made post-Y2k.

Hush. It was a straight road. 150,000mi deserves a damn picture because Facebook.

I’m still training for that 5k I mentioned a few weeks back, so I was at the gym for an hour. My 5k time is still hovering right around 36ish minutes since I slacked off for a couple weeks. I try to run more if I can, but I’m not always motivated.

Hey self, you’re too slow.

When I got home, I wanted to read the book on Scientology (L. Ron Hubbard was an evil, manipulative genius. Going Clear is sensational.). Then I wanted to respond to my penpal’s letter I received late last week. Then I got a shiver from my ceiling fan cooling the sweat on my back, so I was reminded I needed to shower. Then my stomach grumbled and I realized I needed to make something for dinner. Then I remembered a new episode of New Girl was on and I wanted to watch that. Then I remembered the two essays I still have to write for a scholarship I’m applying for.

Then I remembered I want to write. I want to blog more. I want to churn out new content on a regular basis. But I also want to revisit drafts I’ve allowed to pile up for the last year. I want to write that one essay on maturity that’s been bouncing around my head for two years. I started wondering what I was doing with my life. And then Vince called.

Libraries are great for blogging abotu your childhood journals.

Libraries are great for blogging about your childhood journals.

What do I want more? A cute apartment? A new car? A final draft of those essays? A warm meal? The ability to run 5k in less than 38 minutes without wanting to hurl afterward? A mutually fulfilling relationship? Another finished book? My vibrato and bow hold back?

I like to confuse my upstairs neighbor by quickly alternating between Bach, irish jigs, and bluegrass waltzes.

I like to confuse my upstairs neighbor by quickly alternating between Bach, irish jigs, bluegrass waltzes, and classic Frank Sinatra tunes.

I try to accomplish the big things I feel I can control, which usually leaves the smaller things to fall to the side. As a result, I work too much and save my personal pleasures like writing, playing violin, and reading for that ever-elusive “later.”

It should be a law that Sunday mornings are meant for paper books and breakfast in bed.

It should be a law that Sunday mornings are for paper books & breakfast in bed.

I try to keep things in perspective when I plan my day: hitting my 5k goal isn’t something I can just decide to do one day. It takes time, a lot of miles put in on the treadmill, and just the right selection of songs on Spotify. Driving a decent car and furnishing my first sans-roommate living quarters will take money I don’t currently have and since overtime is available, I need to take advantage of it.

As much as I’d like to write more, it maintains an air of abstraction. It will never be done. No matter how great a piece ends up, there will always be more to write. I’ll never say, “Okay, I’ve done all the writing. I can move onto all the violin-playing, and then onto all the book-reading.”

What I’m going through right now is too selfish to be adulthood. An adult is able to provide support and affection for her family. An adult selflessly spends time with a partner. An adult doesn’t get upset when a day goes by without reading. An adult puts others’ needs before her own.

I know that at 25 I am a woman for all intents and purposes, but my obsession with my own whims almost certainly categorizes me as a girl.

I’m not sure if I should feel bad about that.

…introducing the new look.

March 16, 2013March 17, 2013 / Ashley / 6 Comments

As you can probably tell, Everything is Blooming looks a little different today. It’s not a major change, but just a slight face lift. I wanted the look to better represent the tone and style of my blog. What do you think of it?

If you’re a fan of Everything is Blooming on Facebook, you know that last Saturday night I had plans to drink wine and work with my brother, Corey Otto, on a new picture for my blog. Corey has always been a bit of a perfectionist, and this is reflected in everything he does.

"Paper Cranes"Solid ash coffee table18x38

“Paper Cranes”
Solid ash coffee table
18×38

“Eye – Closeup”
2010
Pencil

Panel 2 of a 5 panel piece titled “Mon Carnet”
15″x30″
Watercolor, Ink, and Sharpie on canvas

“Show Your Bones”
2008
18″x24″
Graphite, Ink, Sharpie on paper

As you can see, his expertise lies mostly in drawing and painting. Pretty incredible, right? This is also the same guy who can run 5k in under 20 minutes, just to make you feel inferior. Corey studied photography at UW-Milwaukee but got sidetracked by the painting classes, where he really found his stride. He’s continuously working to develop his craft by trying different materials. He makes a deliberate effort for each piece to be absolutely perfect before calling it complete, which is why his studio is still full of paintings he’s not quite ready to part with.

Most of the drawers in the green cabinet contain a piece in progress.

Corey’s art has a sense of softness that contrasts sharply with an urban edge. Some of the pieces are extremely sensuous – especially those in which he studies the female form. But even in these gorgeous drawings, there is a meticulousness to them. I don’t know much about art, but I think he creates a great juxtaposition between darker base instincts and idealism.

“Another Day”
2010
22″x30″
Graphite on paper (Strathmore 400 Bristol)

Corey also has a talent for photography – something I had almost forgotten until I saw a self portrait he did recently. It took me about thirty seconds to call him up and tell him I wanted help his with a new photo.

Self Portrait that says “I’m an understated badass. Deal with it.”

So he brought his camera and flash over to my apartment where we turned on some music, drank a few whiskey drinks (not wine), and I goofed around in front of the camera.

Much like Stoic Balloon, Solitary Chair is judging you.

Much like Stoic Balloon, Solitary Chair is also judging you.

Most of the shots we posed made me look like the chubby author of a self-help book. Thus the “Make me look less fat” comment. Eventually, the whiskey kicked in and I got a little dorky. That’s when he got some good shots. Candid is always the way to go.

Just ignore the ghetto air conditioner.

I’d like to thank Corey for helping me out with the photos and the design for the new header. Since he’s always well-versed in Photoshop, Corey brought my idea for the original Everything is Blooming header to life. He also helped create the new one.

If you’d like to see more of Corey’s art, please check out his artist’s page on Facebook by clicking on the image below. There you can view more of his art, works in progress, sources of inspiration, and price information for some of the pieces if you’re interested in purchasing an original.

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