Throwback Thursday: Nightmare Children

Every Thursday, I dig out an old diary and share an entry sans editing (in hopes we’ll all see my grammar and apostrophe use improve) with a short commentary. If you like laughing with/at Young Ashley, feel free to use the handy search bar to the left and simply type “Throwback Thursday” and you’ll find the whole archive. Thanks for reading!

Friday August 10, 2001

So I was at Cassie’s house the other night and Tommy and Chad came over. Chad showed us his cheerleading routine and he went up to do a toe touch and his pants fell down! It was so gross. (Not that I saw anything, he had boxers on!) Then we just sat and watched the stars. It was great. One of those times when nobody expects anybody to flirt or hookup, but just hanging out like friends. IDK, my mom would probably freak if she found out I was laying on a trampoline w/ 2 guys. (No, I wasn’t alone w/ them, Cassie was there.)

LOL, then after they went home, we went on aol and talked to Ron & Tommy & Ron told Cassie he liked her. (God I would die!) Then we made all this dough from flour & water. It was all sticky and everything so we threw it @stuff, so if you looked at the ceiling, you’d see all these clumps of dough, it looked so funny. Then Cassie got an idea to stick a creamsaver in the dough, and you’d give your dough ball to the other person. The 1st person to get your creamsaver out won. But you could only use your moth. Oh jeez, that was so gross. It was sticky and all over my lips, lol. Then we put dishsoap, bath bubbles, shampoo, and handsoap on the kitchen flour, along w/ some water. Then, omg, she had these pads (yeah, THOSE kind) that were huge I swear they’re 1 1/2″ thick! N/E ways, we stuck them on our feet and slid around on the bubbles. It was so much fun. I almost did the splits twice. Jeez, that’s the last thing I’d thought I’d ever do. It was hilarious! 

Luv ya Lotz!

You know how when you’re little and your parents threaten you with “Someday you’re going to have kids just like you!”? I sincerely hope my kids never have sleepovers like this. I’m okay with the boys being over – even if they are the questionable kind that wear pants baggy enough to fall down after a toe touch. But throwing flour-water dough at the ceiling and walls? Covering the floor with bubbles? How the hell was any of that ever cleaned up?

I’m trying to remember where Cassie’s mom was during this whole thing. We weren’t friends for very long – just seventh and eighth grade from what I remember, but I remember a lot of unsupervised time. An entry just before this tells of a time swimming at her grandparents’ house that also included Chad and Tommy (jumping in the pool with clothes on, the boys riding Fisher Price toys off the diving board). A birthday party took place at a hotel – the girls all in a separate room while her mom and aunts were in another, most likely having a party of their own. Some people might look at this and call it irresponsible parenting, and if my mom knew half the things we did or how much time we spent with boys, she probably wouldn’t have wanted me hanging out with Cassie as much. I think her mom was home during the dough and soapy floor fiasco, so it’s pretty amazing that she didn’t wake up.

My friendship with Cassie was my short glimpse into the life of the popular kids. It was filled with late night conversations on AOL, phonecalls between boys and girls, notes passed back and forth discussing gossip and boyfriends, sleepovers heavy with antics, and parties whose invites were coveted. I wonder how my life would be different if I had hung out with Cassie in high school. I probably would have studied something practical like supply chain management (whatever that means) and be married to a nice accountant. Or maybe I’d have ended up pregnant from a one night stand in college, raising a blonde daughter on my own.

Eventually, I was no longer able to hide my dorkiness and Cassie and I parted ways. I didn’t take things too personally. Boys told her they liked her. I had obsessive crushes on neighbor boys I was afraid to talk to. She had cheerleading practices while I scrapbooked and scribbled in my diaries. Maybe she really did enjoy my friendship and maybe she truly did care about me, but I always felt like I was afraid to do something stupid for fear she’d decide I wasn’t cool enough for her, then she’d tell people about how dorky I was and I would never have a date to the prom and my life would be over.

Aside from the fact that I was scrapbooking trips to petting zoos, I was writing REALLY witty captions to my pictures. Seriously.

Aside from the fact that I was scrapbooking trips to petting zoos, I was writing REALLY witty captions to my pictures. Seriously.

I never did go to the prom, but I don’t think not being friends with Cassie had anything to do with that. I feel like I should note that sticking maxi pads to our feet while wearing glow-in-the-dark boxers we had purchased from Gap (light blue with stars) and sliding around on bubbles is one of the more ridiculous things I’ve done while sober. Second only to half the things I did at 18. But that’s for another post.


One thought on “Throwback Thursday: Nightmare Children

  1. I am amazed how your old diary sounds like the teenage girl that exists only in my head, and is based on nothing but stereotypes.

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