In case you were curious…

…raw meat is still fucking gross.

My cousin gave me a small slow cooker and accompanying cookbook for Christmas last year. I decided to put it to use today by making turkey breast with cranberry-sage dressing. I chopped up my celery, shallots, sage, and parsley without issue. In fact, it gave me pleasure. The scent of freshly chopped sage is heavenly. And parsley is surprisingly aromatic. I mixed it with my dressing and chicken broth. It was just fine. But when I went to put the turkey breast in the cooker, I had problems.

The recipe specifically called for a 2-3lb bone-in turkey breast half, so obviously that’s what I bought. But the damn thing wouldn’t fit in my 2-quart slow cooker. Nevermind this book of recipes is made specifically for 2-quart slow cookers. Right. Have you seen a 2-3lb turkey breast half? It’s huge. So, I decided to cut off the meat and put it in the slow cooker.

I know why boneless, skinless chicken breasts are so popular. Setting aside all moral and PETA-related concerns, they make cooking easy and completely undisgusting. Bones make you remember you’re preparing the meat of a creature. Bones make you realize you’re cutting off flesh that was once alive. Bones make you realize that the meat you eat is attached by tendons. Bones make you realize that raw meat is gross.

I tried to get as much meat as I could , but it was attached to the bone and that made it difficult. I paid almost $10 for this piece of meat, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be eating about $6 worth. But if the smell of my kitchen is any indication, the meal will not make me make this face:



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