Selfishness & Priorities

In interviews and on some versions on my resume, I mention that one of my valuable skills is being able to prioritize tasks. In an objective sense, this is true. Give me a bunch of things that need to get done, and I have no problem deciding how and when to do the tasks. Four new hire files to audit? Personal development plan that needs revision? Three inch stack of motor vehicle reports to audit? Quality check corrections? Code cleanup for a client? Compiling and organizing information for the OneNote notebook on electronic on-board recorders? Revise and distribute meeting notes from the morning’s conference call? It will all get done. (For the record: quality check corrections, meeting notes, two new hires, half the motor vehicle reports, code cleanup, two new hires, last half of motor vehicle reports, OneNote project and personal development plan if time allows.)

Look at this portion of my cubicle and be impressed.

Look at this portion of my cubicle and be impressed.

Short-term planning is not an issue for me. Long-term planning is difficult. My typical planning skills don’t translate to my life-planning. I realized this today, when I got home after 7, nearly too tired to shower or eat.

I will be getting my own apartment in June, and I was made aware of the fact that I have virtually no savings. So, I decided to pick up some extra hours at work to store some money away for when I’ll be living without a roommate. I’ll need to get a few pieces of furniture, a set of pans, possibly a television, and probably a dozen odds and ends I won’t think of until my toilet’s clogged and I’m wondering how I could be so stupid to live without a plunger. Also, I’d like to get a car that was made post-Y2k.

Hush. It was a straight road. 150,000mi deserves a damn picture because Facebook.

Hush. It was a straight road. 150,000mi deserves a damn picture because Facebook.

I’m still training for that 5k I mentioned a few weeks back, so I was at the gym for an hour. My 5k time is still hovering right around 36ish minutes since I slacked off for a couple weeks. I try to run more if I can, but I’m not always motivated.

Hey self! You're too slow.

Hey self, you’re too slow.

When I got home, I wanted to read the book on Scientology (L. Ron Hubbard was an evil, manipulative genius. Going Clear is sensational.). Then I wanted to respond to my penpal’s letter I received late last week. Then I got a shiver from my ceiling fan cooling the sweat on my back, so I was reminded I needed to shower. Then my stomach grumbled and I realized I needed to make something for dinner. Then I remembered a new episode of New Girl was on and I wanted to watch that. Then I remembered the two essays I still have to write for a scholarship I’m applying for.

Then I remembered I want to write. I want to blog more. I want to churn out new content on a regular basis. But I also want to revisit drafts I’ve allowed to pile up for the last year. I want to write that one essay on maturity that’s been bouncing around my head for two years. I started wondering what I was doing with my life. And then Vince called.

Libraries are great for blogging abotu your childhood journals.

Libraries are great for blogging about your childhood journals.

What do I want more? A cute apartment? A new car? A final draft of those essays? A warm meal? The ability to run 5k in less than 38 minutes without wanting to hurl afterward? A mutually fulfilling relationship? Another finished book? My vibrato and bow hold back?

I like to confuse my upstairs neighbor by quickly alternating between Bach, irish jigs, and bluegrass waltzes.

I like to confuse my upstairs neighbor by quickly alternating between Bach, irish jigs, bluegrass waltzes, and classic Frank Sinatra tunes.

I try to accomplish the big things I feel I can control, which usually leaves the smaller things to fall to the side. As a result, I work too much and save my personal pleasures like writing, playing violin, and reading for that ever-elusive “later.”

It should be a law that Sunday mornings are meant for paper books and breakfast in bed.

It should be a law that Sunday mornings are for paper books & breakfast in bed.

I try to keep things in perspective when I plan my day: hitting my 5k goal isn’t something I can just decide to do one day. It takes time, a lot of miles put in on the treadmill, and just the right selection of songs on Spotify. Driving a decent car and furnishing my first sans-roommate living quarters will take money I don’t currently have and since overtime is available, I need to take advantage of it.

As much as I’d like to write more, it maintains an air of abstraction. It will never be done. No matter how great a piece ends up, there will always be more to write. I’ll never say, “Okay, I’ve done all the writing. I can move onto all the violin-playing, and then onto all the book-reading.”

What I’m going through right now is too selfish to be adulthood. An adult is able to provide support and affection for her family. An adult selflessly spends time with a partner. An adult doesn’t get upset when a day goes by without reading. An adult puts others’ needs before her own.

I know that at 25 I am a woman for all intents and purposes, but my obsession with my own  whims almost certainly categorizes me as a girl.

I’m not sure if I should feel bad about that.

How to end a 60-hour work week

I spent today being a professional, so I thought I would contrast that by sitting on the couch and watching  television. So far it’s been fantastic. On the way home from work, I made a mental list of ways to unwind from your 60-hour work week.

  1. Listen to ridiculous music. I recommend something borderline annoying and abrasive. Gangnam Style fits, but I think it helps when you’re singing words and not just sounds. My personal favorites are T Swift (We are Never Ever Getting Back Together is a good one), anything by Kanye West, and recently, the Ting Tings. I think I’m about five years behind the trend, but I’ve listened to this song about eight times tonight.
  2. Buy yourself some beer. But only if you’re of legal age. If you have a favorite beer, go for that – but you can treat yourself to a Pick Six, because seriously – you’ve worked 60 hours this week. Treat yo’self. 
  1. Eat terrible food.Obviously, I don’t mean eat food that tastes terrible. Eat food that is in no way nutritious for you. Pizza is okay, but it’s got the cheese and meat which has protein – and that’s nutritious. Stay away from that crap and make yourself some of this crap:

     Mix 1 package funfetti cake mix, 2 cups yogurt (plain or vanilla), 1 cup whipped cream. Eat with crap: (vanilla wafers, graham crackers, teddy grahams, oreos, thin mints, etc)

  2. Get Hulu Plus. Or get Netflix and have your roommate pay for Hulu Plus. Just make sure you’re able to watch the last week’s episodes of The Daily Show and the Colbert Report so you can stay informed just enough. 
  3. Put on sweats. I’m not explaining this.

My Pick Six included a blueberry lager, a coriander ale, and four other bottles that could never be compared to Corona. I think this photo is indicative of my versatility as a worker. (ie: the ability to rock a silky mint blouse, have voluminous hair, and take low-quality selfies with my tablet)

Lookit! Lookit! New things!

A few Saturdays ago, I woke up feeling sort of bored. My options were pretty wide: sit in my bed and read or write, go to the last farmer’s market of the year, grab coffee somewhere and pretend I was some artistic genius struggling to write a poem in a spiral bound notebook, or give myself a new hairstyle. I decided to give myself a new hairstyle. Since I’ve been watching a lot of New Girl (and like every other twenty-something girl, I have a bit of a girl crush on her), I decided to give myself bangs.

While in Milwaukee a few years back, I tried to rock bangs (my Feist obsession was at an all-time high), but I ended up getting feeling uncomfortable with them, so I pinned them back and let them grow out. That time I took a scissors and cut straight across my forehead about 40 minutes before an orchestra concert. That could have ended disastrously. I’m incredibly brilliant sometimes.

This time, I took the 30 seconds to google how to cut my own bangs, and they ended up looking pretty good. I think they make me look a lot younger than what I had before then.

Exhibit A: Summer 2012, tanned and blonde so I could feel like a bombshell while my soul died in a cubicle.

Exhibit B: Autumn 2012, pale and brunette so I can feel artsy and slightly superior when I wear leggings and boots

Good god. I look like a completely different person.

Anyway, I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on my bangs. Many of my coworkers (including some who have never talked to me previously) say that it fits me. Some days, I feel really confident about it, while other days I miss my forehead being cool. I’m sure it sounds silly, but it’s a bit tiring to adjust to such a different style.

Other new things: my job. I LOVE it. I know I’ve talked about it before, but I’m really enjoying my new position. This week I have my first client visit. Really looking forward to one of my first interactions as a professional.

Last week, I got a Kindle Fire HD. I’ve spent plenty of time playing around on it: listening to music, reading books, reading magazines, watching youtube, Netflix, and Prime videos, browsing the web – it’s just awesome. I haven’t been disappointed yet. I thought I might not enjoy reading on the back-lit screen (that was my biggest hesitation when switching from my classic Kindle to the tablet), but it’s really quite nice. It’s been especially easy to switch between Infinite Jest and Elegant Complexity (the excellent reader’s guide). I may tire of it, but I figure if I do, I can always just get the basic Kindle for my serious reading sessions. Or you know, I guess I could pick up an actual book.

The latest thing to always be in my purse

I’m going to sit down and write a good post tomorrow, so please excuse this ditzy “oh mah gawd, lookit me n mah stuff!” post. You know I’m better than this.

Seriously though, I’ve got to go fix my bangs and take pictures of myself in flannel with my new gadget. Ciao!

This is me in my flannel pajamas being a dork while I try out the HD camera on my new Kindle.